Let me start by saying in no way am I the picture of perfect health. I started my wellness journey just over 4 years ago and it is still a full time job to regain my health every day. But I look back and compare today with the days that I was so exhausted that breathing felt like a chore and I have to remind myself how far I’ve come. But I want to go so much further. So here’s how it all started...
In 2016, I was working at a real estate PR firm. As I came to learn, not a healthy lifestyle choice at all. Long hours, multiple late nights drinking into the morning with clients, high stress, etc. My health was definitely headed downhill but as a young woman in her 20’s, I just downed my coffee to get through the workday and downed a drink (or 5) to get through the night. And it worked for a while. Then I started to notice that it was more difficult to get up in the morning, my hangovers were getting worse, I couldn’t stay out as late as I used to. “I must be getting older.” Then came the muscle fatigue and then the ever-worsening brain fog. I started noticing that I was messing up words or forgetting common ones altogether. My motivation was completely shot and my emotional regulation was at an all time low. I sat at work counting down the minutes before I could leave, getting the bare minimum done or not even that. Finally, I spoke to my physician who took one look at my symptom list and tested my thyroid. Lo and behold, I tested positive for Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune hypothyroidism disease.
Great! I have an answer. Put me on the drugs and fix me, right? That was a horrible idea… I’m someone who tends to be sensitive to medications (and other things like skincare, cheap jewelry, chapsticks, etc). I felt like I was actually losing my mind when I was put on half of the smallest dose of Synthroid. One particular sensation that I will never forget was this feeling that I was rocking back and forth in rhythm with my pulse when, in fact, I wasn't moving at all. That was super fun. Within a month, I stopped taking the drug and was hesitant to try any other medications. I tried my luck with a nutritional therapist who I got the name of from a hypnotherapist I saw as a child (a great story for another time). Absolutely loved her! She put me on 3 simple things: bone broth, collagen peptides (usually in the form of Bulletproof coffee), and an iodine supplement of some kind. Fast forward 3 months and all of my thyroid numbers had normalized. But I still felt like absolute shit. *Heads up to future readers, I wouldn’t call myself foul-mouthed but there’s likely to be a few curse words tossed around every now and again. Chronic disease can be a real bitch and requires profanity sometimes.*
Test after test and nothing. Until I visited The Morrison Center in NYC and they basically tested me for everything under the sun. Guess what… LYME DISEASE. Why didn’t anyone test me for that before, huh? Frustration aside, I was so grateful to have a diagnosis to work on again. They were kind enough to diagnose me with a slew of other issues too (a parasite, antibiotic-resistant sinus colonies, candida overgrowth, etc.). Until I learned how incredibly complicated one tick bite can make your life. Once again, I did the rounds with so many doctors, so many antibiotics (seriously, I think I consumed at least 500 in the matter of a few months).
While I saw some improvement, eventually it tapered off and I was stuck feeling hopeless. At this point, I had been let go from the PR firm for “financial reasons,” which, honestly I believe but I also completely understand why I was the one to be let go. First, I was an event planner not interested in PR in the slightest. Second, I was one of the most recent hires. And the third probably had something to do with my absolute hatred of the job and zero motivation to contribute more than I had to. So, yeah, I get it. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to have my bedridden days as I tried to tackle this beast of a disease. My treatments ranged from a ridiculous amount of antibiotics to oxygenating and blasting my blood with UV light before returning it to my body. Basically, I was willing to try anything. That is, until none of it was working.
This is when that angel of a nutritionist came back into my life. Turns out, she had Lyme Disease in high school and it was so bad that she ended up in a wheelchair. She was eager to work with me again and I went with it. Thank god I did. Instead of a ton of gut-destroying antibiotics, this woman put me on a ton of gut- and immune-supporting natural supplements. I also went Keto for 6 months, one of my proudest accomplishments, no exaggeration. Three months in, I’m 75% back to being my old self. Eventually though, this improved health too tapered off. But I was so much better off that I was willing to take the results, call it a success, and try to get back to my life. I started working again, this time in the wellness industry at an infrared sauna startup. It was all going great, except for having to wake up at 5am and work weekends… And then my health started going downhill again. No idea why and my savior of a nutritionist wasn’t having much impact either. My mental health deteriorated severely. I’d say I’m a pretty optimistic person, although most people wouldn’t guess it based on my resting face. It got to the point where I would wake up, pop an Ativan just to get me moving, spend the day watching Netflix while at work, coming home, and retreating to my room until I had to repeat the whole process the next day. I resisted being labeled depressed for as long as I could. My therapist started to tell me for months that she wanted me on meds just to help me get out of this hole. Let me clarify - I’ve never been suicidal and don’t think my personality really lends itself to that. But my outlook on life was extremely grim. I saw no hope for a future where I’d be healthy enough to hold a job or have any meaning to my life. Every session with my therapist was done with tears welled up in my eyes. I finally caved and asked my doctor for Wellbutrin. GAMECHANGER. Life wasn’t so unbearable anymore. My brain started to be functional most days, a huge feat, and I had hope of getting out of the job I hated and the city I no longer loved.
Fast forward to now. Today is Wednesday, March 10, 2021. We’ve been in quarantine for a year. I hesitate to write this but quarantine was such a blessing for me. I completely appreciate the incredible loss that the world has suffered and continues to suffer and in no way am saying it is a good thing. But my company shutting down and me moving back home allowed me to breathe, at least for a little while. I was able to actually get some sleep, not have to worry about rent, be away from an unhealthy social group, I started to do yoga. I stopped drinking. I started cooking more. I weeded out those I no longer wanted to keep in contact with. My relationship with my parents improved. And, best of all, I started the very same nutrition certification course that my nutritionist completed. And I’m beyond excited to say I graduate from that program in exactly one week.
I know that’s a lot of information, probably a lot that you didn’t need to learn about me. But it all played a part in how I got here. I have so much I want to share and so much I want to learn about. I have the time, the education, the passion, and most importantly, a functioning brain to be able to start this website now. So, for all of my fellow chronic illness-sufferers, my wellness fanatics, perpetual students, and more, I hope you get some comfort in my words and learn alongside me.
Welcome to Charlie Love.
-Charlotte
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